Hampsters

I am sitting in my house, in my hometown, in the kitchen. Next to me are two hamsters. To be precise, they are dwarf hamsters. My best friend, who we will call Cher, and I got them a week ago when we decided to have a happy-liver-Friday. Because it is almost impossible to enjoy happy-liver-Fridays on campus, we went to Petsmart to try and find puppies. Of course, given the fact that is was 9 PM on a Weekend, there were none. As we wandered the slightly rancid aisles, we happened on the rodent housing. Like every sucker before us, we gazed at the adorable miniature hamsters sitting contently in their habitat. After about an hour of debate, we deiced to both chip in and get a cute and adorable hamster. As the clerk took us behind the housing to get a proper look at the animals, we got out first taste of what these 'cute' animals are like.
The unwitting woman opened the cage like I am sure she had on many other occasion before. She tried to catch one of the cute hamsters by reaching her hand in, but he escaped quickly. Sighing, she grabbed one of the plastic igloo's that serve as a den and scooped up the little guy in it. For a moment, everything seemed fine, then, as if he was a kamikaze solider, the dwarf hamster flung himself out of the igloo and unknowingly fell 4 feet to the ground. When I think about it, I might have even heard him scream "Freedom!" He landed on the ground on his back... Cher and I looked at each other in horror. Our attempt to be kind and give a hamster a home had ended in rodent suicide... Then, we saw movement. As the clerk went to go pick him up, he flipped himself over and ran. If we hadn't been in an enclosed room, I think he might have made it to Alaska.
I thought he was fabulous! He had spunk and obviously hated the pet shop. But my friend was not impressed, so we got the other hamster out. He was mellow, and sat in the igloo starring up at us like we were his only hope in like. Cher loved him. But I thought the other one was funnier. As we debated this subject, we looked into the cage and saw the two rodents curled up together like best friends.
"Who were we," we reasoned "to break up best friends?"
After several more debates we decided to get the two buddies, but not before I checked to see if we could return them for a full rebate.
In the past week we have discovered several things about these furry little creatures and their commercial housing. Not only is the "Silent Wheel" possibly the loudest and most irritating sound in the world, but hamsters like to run anywhere between 6 to 12 miles a night, so with two hamsters, that's 24 miles of noisy wheel a night. So why not remove the wheel at night and let them run during the day time? I just read several articles explaining that by not letting the furry little lightning bolts run at night, you will kill them.
The sentence long summary of this blog goes something like this: Because we chose not to drink on a Friday night in college, my best friend and I acquired two maniac hamsters that like to play from the hours of dusk to dawn, effectively ruining our sleep cycle and making our room smell like ammonia.
Oh, and did I mention that both of them bite and don't like to be touched or held?